Abugan

 🙋 1.1 PERSONAL DESCRIPTION

I would describe myself as someone who is simple and reserved. I like staying in quiet places because therein I would get to be calm and think about things deeply. It's seldom for me to spend time outdoors because I always prioritize doing my academic tasks indoors. Visiting highland places, watching movies, and taking pictures are some of the things I love doing. Currently, I'm still striving to have a happy balance of time between my family, studies, and friends.

📔 1.2 AXIOMS OF COMMUNICATION

Four Sisters and a Wedding

      The story of the movie “Four Sisters and a Wedding” revolves around the four Salazar sisters (Teddie, Bobbie, Alex, and Gabbie) attempting to stop the wedding of their younger brother (CJ). Aside from this issue, they also have insecurities among one another that were revealed along the process of stopping and preparing for the wedding. One of the famous scenes from the movie was when Bobbie told her mother (Grace) that her favorite children were Teddie and CJ and she felt less loved among her siblings. Although the issue of favoritism was only explicitly revealed by Bobbie at the near end of the movie, there were some scenes that supported Bobbie’s claim. Those scenes would be discussed and analyzed below using an axiom of communication. The dominant axiom of communication observed in the movie is the first axiom, which states that one cannot not communicate. These are some of the following scenes in the movie where the first axiom is evident: 

Bobbie and Teddie’s Arrival at Their House 

        The first one to arrive at the Salazar’s house was Bobbie. Rushing out of the house to see who had arrived, Gabbie and their mother, Grace, saw Tristan, a handsome and neat guy. Right away, Grace praises Teddie for having a really good taste in men, although she hasn’t confirmed yet if it was Teddie or Bobbie who arrived and whose boyfriend Tristan is. She was then corrected by Gabbie that Tristan is Bobbie’s boyfriend. That scene showed that Teddie is first in her mother’s mind. Although she didn’t verbally express it, the act of concluding that it was Teddie who arrived communicates that Teddie was really at the front of her mind and that she was really excited to see Teddie. Moving on to the next scene, Gabbie and Grace went outside of the gate to see Bobbie. Grace and Bobbie haven’t caught up yet, but when Teddie arrived, Grace quickly rushed with her arms open wide, ready to hug Teddie. Grace was all smiles to see Teddie, while Bobbie was left behind with Gabbie and their housemaid. After getting out of the taxi, Bobbie stares at how her mom welcomed Teddie. In this scene, the action of Grace somehow makes Bobbie sad because the intensity of happiness when Grace saw Teddie was different when she saw Bobbie. It seemed like she was happier the moment she saw Teddie. 

Grace Scolding Three of her Daughters Except for Teddie 

        The Salazar sisters (Teddie, Bobbie, Alex, and Gabbie) were enraged and frustrated when they returned home after meeting with the Bayag Family to discuss the plans for CJ and Princess' wedding. They were offended that the Bayag Family had indirectly belittled them by allowing CJ to sign a prenuptial agreement. Although all of the daughters were rude during the family dinner, only Gabbie, Bobbie, and Alex received a reprimand from their mother (Grace). She even emphasized Bobbie and Alex’s behavior as if they were the only ones who acted rudely. This action of Grace implies that Teddie is indeed her favorite child, even without verbally declaring it. Moreover, Bobbie too was hurt when her mother pointed out and emphasized her behavior but not Teddie’s. She communicated her emotions just by having a look of shock, disbelief, and by sighing loudly.

Analysis by: Abugan, Queenie C. & Burgos, Jonina Ria B.

💑 1.3 RELATIONAL COMMUNICATION THEORY

🔊 1.4 COMMUNICATION STYLE

1. My predominant communication style is: 

    👉Passive-Aggressive

2. The people with whom I most often use this style are: 

    👉The members of my family. I am the youngest in my family and, because of that, I always feel like I don't have a voice. Before, I would try to speak my thoughts and my stand regarding things, however, I got always rejected and end up following what they want. I got tired of speaking up because I know I won't be heard, so now I am passive-aggressive with them. I just stay silent and give them cold-treatment whenever I am hurt or have conflict with them.

3. Level of effectiveness and how it affects me:

    👉From level of 1 to 10, I think its effectiveness lies on a score of 5. I think its beneficial to them because it seems like they've already won when I just stay silent and follow what they want me to do. However, on my side, it's so unhealthy for me. I always felt like I'm drowning inside because I felt like I don't have the right to be heard. Whenever I use this communication style I always felt like I am alone because it seemed that I have no one I could talk to and express my feelings and ideas.

🔊1.5 COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP BUILDING IN PUBLIC CONTEXTS

👫Can Teachers and Students be Friends?

    👉Yes, they can be friends. I see nothing wrong about it as long as they still keep each other's space. Although the teacher is in a position of authority, the relationship can work out if they have equal amount of respect with each other. After all, we are human beings, we can be friends with anyone, regardless of age gap, position, and gender.

👯Bettering Communication in a Workplace

🏕 1.6 COMMUNICATION IN MEDIATED-COMMUNICATION

💏 1.7 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

Analytical Essay on Maintaining a Romantic Relationship

by: Queenie C. Abugan

        When two people choose to enter in an interpersonal connection and believe the bond to be romantic, they have chosen to be in a romantic relationship with one another. Almost all people wants to have a romantic relationship, but how can we maintain such kind of relationship? Let’s have some insights from my brother, Michael Abugan, who has been in a romantic relationship with his girlfriend Jody for 6 years. According to him, at the start of their relationship, it seemed all is well and exhilarating. This is before conflict arises and negative emotions cause things to get real and bring the relationship down from the clouds. However, one of the reasons why they are able to maintain their relationship is by giving each other allowances for mistakes and by forgiving. They also respect and trust each other. With that being said, a romantic relationship is one of the most rewarding, complex, and significant entities in a person’s life, and though it seems as if maintaining one should come easily, at times it can be one of the most difficult challenges. 

        Michael and Jody also experienced misunderstandings like other lovers. However, having effective communication and mutual desire to be together, the challenges of misunderstanding one another has been surmounted. Because they are deeply invested emotionally, mentally, and possibly physically, the stakes are higher than those in a friendship relationship. 

      Michael shared that since Jody is in Canada for a year now, sometimes they can’t communicate well in a day due to the differences of time between Philippines and Canada as well as their work schedule. They are able to maintain their relationship by meeting each other halfway and thinking about the personal needs of each other, for example, enough rest from a tiring day at work. With that being said, although the inherit nature of the human race is to focus primarily on personal needs, in a committed romantic relationship it is important that the needs of the other partner are also taken into consideration, which may require compromise on how communication and expression of feelings are exchanged. 

        They are also able to maintain a good relationship by appreciating each other in who they are and what they do, that is being less negative and more kind in their evaluation and feedback of each other. It is important to note that partners are happier and more committed when positive interactions between partners outweigh negative ones. 

        One of the big adjustments in Michael and Jody’s relationship was when Jody flew abroad for work. The two view the change as something to be embraced as an opportunity for their relationship to grow and reach a deeper level instead of something to be resisted and ignored. By periodically setting aside time to check in with one another on these changes, the couple are assured that they are aware of the other’s changing life and goals, therefore enhancing the intensity of their connection. 

        Like other lovers, they also had quarrels regarding a number of things. According to Michael, it was hard, but once they are in a disagreement they usually let each other have some time to cool off so that hurtful things are not said that could potentially cause damage to their relationship. This personal time can allow each of them to alleviate their anger or hurt and rationalize their thoughts. After that, they talk and try to be understanding of each other’s views and opinions. 

        From their relationship, I could say that the best approach to maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is to not overlook each other’s flaws and shortcomings but to accept and embrace them. For a proper communication to take place, both partners must be willing to give up their stubborn pride and come to terms with the fact that their way of handling situations is not the only way. Once this level of respect is present, problems that comes with the relationship will be overcome. Though this can be challenging and at times overwhelming, the success of maintaining a romantic relationship is one of the most fulfilling aspect of life known to mankind.

2.1 COMMUNICATION MISTAKES IN A RELATIONSHIP AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Solving It Peacefully

by: Queenie C. Abugan

Conflicts, quarrels, misunderstandings, disagreements

Look, when we get in a fight

We each think we are right

But let’s sort it out 

And put an end to the problematic situations

Let’s listen to each other

Understand one another

And together, we can make it okay!

I need to tell you how I feel

And I’m willing to listen if you’ll tell me how you feel

Let’s compromise

Instead of taking sides

So neither of us has to lose 

When we are in conflict

Let’s stop first and think

Take a deep breath and calm down

We can’t solve a problem when we are upset

Communicate and talk it out

What do they want, what do you want?

Compromise and let go of pride

Give space for each other’s sake

Then thereafter we may experience the peace and harmony

In our home, classroom, offices, or wherever we go